It is tax season, let's get the rules straight...

Ok, here it is, 12:53 am on a Saturday and I am at the office. Yes, I realize I am blogging and not working, but I have a massive document printing, so I have the time. Being a CPA is like having a public target on your head. EVERYONE thinks they know more than you and they want to prove it to you. You would be shocked at the crap that comes out of peoples mouths. And, if I say, "no that is not deductible" the response is my sister-in-law's, cousins, hairdressers, CPA says it is. My new response is going to be, then you should hire them to do your taxes... I just thought it would be fun to bring up the things I hate, and maybe de-bunk a few of the questions I have been asked so far... I would like to add a disclaimer that most of these come from people who are not my clients... And if you have recently asked me a tax question, don't feel bad. If you weren't being a butt face about it, I probably didn't mind. If I acted like a butt face to you (and you would know) then I was probably annoyed. Here we go!

1) If you are filing a tax return on yourself (not an entity), it is due April 15th (before extensions)(or maybe April 18th, but we will get to that later). Just because you have a social security statement does not mean that the government gave you an early due date of Feb. 28. If you are the moron that started this rumor among our elderly citizens, you need to be punched. It is ridiculous and there are way too many elderly people worrying about this.

2) Yes, the filing date was pushed back to Feb. 14th this year. This means that the IRS didn't have all of the forms ready until then. This is because our politicians can't agree on anything and know nothing about tax law, so they enacted a bunch or new stuff way late in the year and most of it cause a revamping of a few of the forms. It does not mean the IRS was training more auditors or any other hair-brain thing. It just means that the forms weren't ready. Calm down.

3) Because of #2, the tax season got started a little late. This means tax preparers are getting a late start with the same deadline (one day extra in some cases). This means that by the end of March I will be grouchier than normal and the bags under my eyes will be a little bigger than normal. I realize this, so please don't point it out to me.

4) If you ask me to do your taxes and I say yes, that means get them to me before April 10th... Trust this, you do not want me to start your return after that point...

5) If you are playing stump the CPA with me and give the "my sister-in-law's, cousin's, hairdresser's, CPA says it is a deduction, " then you should go find this person (if they exist) and have them do your tax return. I am not going to let you take your dog's vet bill as an education expense, no matter how many people you know that have CPA's that do it... You and your sister-in-law's, cousin's, hairdresser's, CPA will get to know each other really well... in prison.

6) Tax season is a really busy time for CPA's, unless I really like you all the rest of theyear; I probably don't want to do your taxes for free. I do not have some unfulfilled desire to do pro bono work.

7) Asking me to bake cinnamon rolls, cookies, and brownies during tax season for your fundraiser will not make me happy. But for some reason, I will still do it.

8) Don't call me and say "I just have a quick question." The interpretation of that is "please don't send me a bill for this." I am a CPA, not a tax collector; I won't nickel and dime you :).

9) Let me re-iterate. I am a CPA, not a tax collector... You and me are on the same side. I pay taxes too. I pay bills too. I am here to help you pay the right amount of taxes, not so many that you have to sell you kidney to pay the debt, but also, not so few that the IRS comes looking for you and me. So, please, be honest and when I ask you something and don't hide stuff!!

10) Please do not try to educate me on tax law, loop holes, or secret credits. Chances are if you know about them, everyone does, or you have been misled.

11) Don't play stump the CPA with me. I don't know every nook and cranny in the law (but neither do you) and I don't claim to. But, I know where to find it. If there is something that affects your tax return and I AM DOING YOUR RETURN, then let's talk about it. If you see me at Wal-Mart and I am not your CPA, I do not care about your return. I just want to buy my eggs and toilet paper and get home in time for Private Practice or Teen Mom 2.

12) Here is a big one. The FEDERAL INDIVIDUAL return is due April 18th. The OKLAHOMA INDIVIDUAL RETURN is also due April 18th. If you are filing an Oklahoma partnership return, the Federal is due April 18th and the Oklahoma is still due on April 15th. This is subject to change, but as of yesterday, that is that.

13) This is meant to add humor to my life while I wait on the printer. It is not directed at any one person (Unless your name is Josh, Tyler, or TJ). It is mostly based on horror stories that I have heard about from others. Any tax advice contained in this communication was not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used for, the purpose of (i) avoiding tax related penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing, or recommending to another party any tax-related matter addressed herein.

Have a great Saturday!!